On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize