Kiss
Puke
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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