Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
