i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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