imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
