i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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