if i can run in heels then i can drive
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Shame - the story of my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
