I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
