I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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