I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
