I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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