Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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