i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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