grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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