Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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