hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
