just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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