forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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