I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he quoted the bible to break up with me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
