There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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