I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your penis caused this!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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