be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
