My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
