big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
