Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
