Umm I'm too high to move.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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