why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
