dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
