who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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