just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
