i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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