party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
