weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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