two words: eviction party
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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