Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
