i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
