it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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