You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
