What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
