i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize