Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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