end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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