Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
