Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
