WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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