So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
