But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
