Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
