what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
