Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
