I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
