So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
