the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
