Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
