Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have aggressive nipples.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
