Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
