Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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