Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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