We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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