its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
