Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize